steven heller called out my fate.

"I have finally come to the realization that my self-education was like a dormant childhood illness that has returned in adult life to haunt me." i had printed this summer-2005-article from eye magazine (eye opinion) just over a year ago and stuck it with my stash of articles that may benefit me or be of interest one day.

just like my box of inspiring printed pieces housing direct mail pieces, brochures and ads as well as my browser's bookmark folder stuffed with cool web sites, i tap into these inspiring archives when i get into a rut. i have an oversized folder with articles that i've collected from the Times, online, or Xeroxs from books and other pubs that i resort to when i seek inspiration.

i have a meeting with some gallery directors next week to discuss a show i planned on exhibiting at the end of this semester. it was for the last project in my Special Studies class in which i withdrew after 85% completion. the space wasn't available any how, but is open for the beginning of fall. my biggest dilemma is if i should still exhibit my intended show — my decades book – progress shown at the end of this blog)? or do i come completely off the wall and make a show from something unrelated?

this is why i began the search in my article archives. i have plenty ideas for an exhibit, just none have ever been flushed out... and the meeting is next week. and now after re-discovering this article, i can't help but to believe that i'm merely a "capitalist tool," as steven heller put so in-my-face-ly. but it's true. i have a knack for pleasing clients, presenting a clear message, and selling the goods. but, is my lack of formal training holding me from finding my purpose in the MFA program? am i really a graphic designer? or just a creative person with the ability to juggle administration...

i should have been accepted into this program based on a social issue/graphic design problem that i wanted to confront over the next 3 years. instead, i was accepted based upon my "corporate" portfolio. perhaps my experience proved that i could think for myself with hopes that something would surface. well, after a year and a half, nothing has surfaced and i find myself completely alone. no comradery. no direction. no push. just a demand to create my own curriculum and plan to present to a committee. the news flash is loud and clear: i just don't have it.

read heller's article published in eye magazine summer '05 issue 56: "Me feral designer" and you will see where i'm coming from.

as for the exhibit in the fall, i'm still going to attempt it. i can't give up that easily. below is where my book was going. the plan was to extract the spreads and blow them up to present in a gallery setting... now, i thinking i'll do something much more interesting. as for the book, i was exercising a flow as the reader flipped through the decades of commercial art in america starting in the 50's. a rhythm would maintain with the chorus of vellum spreads showing a graphic transition of each of the decade "circles" as they separate the decade spreads.

cover:


50s:



60s:



70s:


80s:


90s:


and the NOW is even more incomplete than the 80s and 90s... i didn't have time to massage anything and before i knew it the semester was over. as i've taken the W's this semester, i've also taken a lesson. i know who i am and i will never stop learning, i just don't have control of the time line.

finally, just for fun, even as i discovered that the decades mesh together with fuzzy borders, i wanted to explore type treatments that represent each in a poster: